1)  When you are driving on the freeway in the snow and the rest of the traffic is going 45 MPH, then YOU should go 45 MPH or else get off the freeway.  If you are afraid to maintain freeway speeds in the snow, park the car in the garage and take the bus.  Along those lines, JS Online had a poll question that asked what annoys people most after a snowfall, fast drivers or slow drivers.  It was a dumb question, it should have asked "which drivers are more dangerous in the snow, fast drivers or slow drivers?"  Slow drivers are far more dangerous because everyone is trying to go around them causing cars to slide while switching lanes, and causing the pokey drivers to panic and drive even slower.  I was behind a car with an easy to memorize vanity plate.  I won't call out her car here, but if I ever get stuck behind her and find that she is soley causing a traffic disaster on I-894 southbound between the Zoo and the Hale again, I will identify her.

2)  Companies (and the one I work for is one of them) have this nice touchy-feeley line in the employee manual that says that it is important to strike a balance between work and family, and that we give you X-number of vacation days (based on tenure).  Then around Thanksgiving, they send the ominous "Use 'em or lose 'em" memo.  If they were so concerned about my balance, they wouldn't have had a problem with me carrying three days into next year... but I digress.  I had three vacation days to burn in December and took the three Mondays off.  Other than shovel snow and make dinner, I did nothing constructive on those days.  Great for balence, eh?

3)  Fantasy Football stinks.  And not just because I finished 7-7 (for the third year in a row) and missed the playoffs and prize money.  Bill Simmons said it the best (read the Chicago Bears comments), but to summarize, it is basically a $120 lottery.  In August you lose yourself in football websites at the expense of family to "prepare" for the draft, in September you dump the $120 entry fee (and if you are truly a sucker like me, you pay $26 for a website that does the week-to-week homework for you).  You spend countless hours caring about an otherwise meaningless Bengals/Browns game because your 3rd best running back is playing (because your best running back got injured the prior week and may not play, but by the time you choose that Browns RB, your first RB is not only healty but scores three TDs).  Despite Chef Tomas' help, my season basically ended 7 minutes into the first game on the first Sunday as my QB Tom Brady got injured.  I picked #3 in the draft and took Brady, and he got me 3 points for the entire season.  By the way, next year's draft is the first Wednesday in September at Riviera Lanes.  If you are interested....

4)  Back to the snow (because, well, it snows every third day, so it should be part of every third rant); My driveway is very long and in back fans out to a three-car garage.  In minor snowfalls, it isn't a big deal to shovel/snowblow.  But in major storms or when the snow is wet and heavy, our snowblower gets cranky (and I get crankier because that driveway seems to get longer).  I had a bright idea to call a couple of plowing services, but I couldn't believe what they quoted.  What happened to guys with plowing attachments on their pick-up trucks doing driveways for $20?

5)  The Christmas music on XM has disappointed me this year.  Last year, the "Holiday Traditions" station (XM channel 36) played the more traditional music and had quite a few instrumentals.  This year, it seems like there is far less variety, and apparently the after the merger with Sirius, the definition of "Tradition" has changed.  They didn't go a far as programming the warbling Kelly Clarkson or Celine Dionne, but I personally banned the station after hearing three times at work yesterday (in my best Casey Kasem voice) The new Number One Hated Christmas Song, The Carpenter's "Merry Christmas Darling".  This morning, I dug out my three Mannheim Steamroller CDs, The Brian Setzer Orchestra's "Boogie-Woogie Christmas" and Harry Connick's "Harry for the Holidays" and took them to work.  All I am missing is my Neil Diamond Christmas cassette tape.

6)  I will be going to Chicago (well, Hoffman Estates) to watch the Milwaukee Wave play the Chicago Storm this Saturday.  I will also watch the rematch from the US Cellular Arena on New Year's Eve.  I plan on comparing the venues, presentation, talent, etc., and talk about the new XSL.  If I get around to it, I will also comment on the rival NISL.

7)  I have a theory on how TV weather forecasters predict snowfall amounts.  First, be the first to predict any snow.  Then let your competitors quote an expected amount (say, 2" - 4").  Then another competitor tops it (3" - 6").  By this time, the storm has gotten closer and the original predictor not only tops it (5" - 10"), but also pin points it to neighborhoods.  The bottom line is that the fish will go to the TV station with the most ominous forecast, so the forecasters need to have the biggest hook.  As long as I am beating up on TV weatherdorks, didja ever notice that when TV stations interrupt their programming for an update from the weather office, the guy has his tie loosened, his top button undone, the coat off and the sleeves rolled up.  20 minutes later when the local news starts, he is fully dressed.  MARKETING, PEOPLE.  That rolled-up-sleeve look is to make you think he is working hard... and everybody falls for it.  They aren't making the weather, they are looking at the radar and reading the National Weather Service alerts.  I am not saying that the weather guys aren't trained and are or aren't worth their money.  I am saying that during rough weather, they are not working so hard that they have to get practically undressed.  They do it so you think they are working that hard.

8)  Which public agency will be the first to cancel an activity or meeting tonight because it is supposed to snow starting between 9:00 and midnight?  Never mind.  I just checked and the Greendale Park and Rec department cancelled an activity for tonight.  It isn't even supposed to START snowing until bedtime!  Arrggghhh!  

9)  Las Vegas got their largest December snowfall in history (4+ inches in some spots) yesterday in the storm that is headed our way.  I can't wait to call a former supplier in Las Vegas and complain to him about sending his weather to us!

10)  Wrap up... My-Sugar-Na said she wanted to guest blog, still waiting... Mitten told me this morning as I was driving him to his school bus stop that it looked like people were already driving slower because snow was expected later today.  And when I looked around, he was right... Gasoline, steel and copper prices are crashing, why am I not seeing price decreases from my suppliers?...  My elbow is feeling much better and my bowling scores are showing it.  I am looking forward to tournament season starting in January... Nice... Not that I am promoting this, but just passing along that the Lingerie Football League has placed a team in Chicago for the 2009 season... Our company is catering lunch tomorrow.  Should be lots of leftovers as I can't imagine good attendance tomorrow... Don't say Happy Holidays.  At least man-up and say which holiday that you want to be happy.  Merry Christmas, Solemn Ramadan, Kwazy Kwanzaa, whatever.  But this is still a country founded by Christians, don't be afraid to say Merry Christmas; you'll be right far more often then you'd be wrong...  If you enjoy my blog, don't be afraid to tell him that I deserve a Christmas Bonus.

This was going to be titled "Live by the Position Round, Die by the Position Round:  The Steve Jaros Story".  But without mentioning the PBA in the title, nobody would know who Steve Jaros is.  But if you are reading this, you must be interested in the PBA; if not, the Hit-O-Meter has already counted your visit (and I thank you).  Now that you're here, set a spell and read a great story.

As mentioned here, in the PBA CRL Carmen Salvino Scorpion Championship in Vernon Hills, IL, all 64 exempt players bowled 14 games, cut to the top 32, bowled nine match play games (with each match winner awarded 30 bonus pins) cutting the field to 16, then bowled nine more match play games before cutting to the top four for the TV finals to be shown live on ESPN on Sunday afternoon. 

In reading the final standings for each round, you would see that Jaros' finishes were as follows...

• 35th place after the first seven games of qualifying
• 15th place after 14 games (in the middle of the pack entering match play)
• 16th place after the first round of match play (barely making the cut)
• 5th place at the end of match play (barely missing TV)

But that doesn't tell the entire story.  Before qualifying even began on Thursday (Thanksgiving Day), an equipment breakdown at Brunswick Zone Hawthorne Lanes delayed the start by almost two hours.  That pushed the entire schedule back, and the 64 exempt players (and 16 women's players) finsihed after 11:00 PM.  Jaros - who lives 70 miles away in Yorkville, IL - headed back home to his own bed to rest-up for Friday's bowling.

My-Sugar-Na, who attended Friday's match play rounds with me, steps in to explain how the rest of Jaros' evening played out...

His-Sugar-Na here - I had overheard Steve Jaros tell somebody that on his drive back to Yorkville on Thursday night, he got stuck in traffic and took him over an hour just to get past the jam.  Turns out that the jam was three lanes of traffic, ALL MERGING TOWARDS THE EXIT to go to a mall that was opening at Midnight for Black Friday.  In hindsight, he mentioned, he should have just stayed at a hotel near the bowling center.  OK, back to Baldy.

In other words, Jaros couldn't have gotten much sleep, as he had to be back at the bowling center by 9:30 AM for the match play which started at 11:00 AM.  He started the morning with a 258 game, but averaged only 224 for the next seven (I say only, as the field was averaging about 240).  Also, Jaros lost five of those seven games, earning him only 60 total bonus pins.  After the eight games, Jaros found himself in 23rd place heading into the ninth game (which is a position round, meaning he would bowl the player in 24th place).

The seeding for the position round was in itself quite a story, as eight bowlers (including Greenfield's Chad Kloss) were within 16 pins of the precious cut line of 16th place.  When figuring in the bonus pins, it would basically be which one of the eight would bowl the highest game.  Late into game nine, it came down to two players, Ed VanDaniker in 22nd place and Jaros.  VanDaniker finished his game first, shooting 256 + 30 bonus pins - which meant that Jaros had to strike thrice in the 10th frame to win.  Jaros did so, throwing a 258 + 30 bonus pins, and when the math was finished, Jaros had jumped from 23rd to 16th place in one game to survive to bowl in the evening block.

I have seen many, many times in pro sports where a team makes a furious comeback from a deficit with an emotional surge to tie a game or take a small lead, then all of the expended energy catches up to the team and they end up losing anyway.  I had expected that it may happen to Jaros in this event, but it didn't happen that way I had thought.

In the first game of the last round, Jaros tied Ryan Ciminelli 279-279, beat Mike Scroggins 279-277 and tied Ken Abner 237-237.  After surviving a leaster against Michael Fagan 212-166, Jaros cruised to a second place tie with a 255 average heading into the final position round.  (Can you see where this is going?  If not, read the previous two paragraphs again, please).

In the final position round, Wes Malott was 150 pins over Jaros in first place... the top seed in the TV finals wasn't in doubt.  But for that last game there were six bowlers fighting for the other three spots.  Jaros would need to either win his match (and get those 30 bonus pins), or have a big, big game to hold onto the spot in the top four.

Jaros lost to Malott 269-226.  That 226 is an important number, made more important by the fact that if he would have gotten two strikes in the 10th frame of Game 32 instead of one strike than a seven count, I would have needed something else to prattle on about.  Just a couple of lanes down, 4th seeded Ken Simard threw a 300 + 30 bonus pins to cement his spot on TV.  Simard's opponent, Brad Angelo threw a 246 game and though he lost, he also clinched a spot in the final four.

It came down to the match up of two bowlers tied for 5th and 6th place - Jason Couch and Ciminelli.  Ciminelli was leading Couch heading into the 9th frame, when Ciminelli left a 3-5-6 spare.  While the crowd was still cheering Simard's 300 game on the next pair, Ciminelli bowled through the cheering and missed his spare.  From that point, the game was Couch's, but the final four was still unknown.  Couch had thought that Angelo's 246 game had excluded him, but he didn't realize that Jaros' score was in reach.  Couch struck the first two times in the 10th frame, and when all was said and done, Couch had beaten Jaros for the last spot by three pins.

I didn't get to see where Jaros went once the bowling was completed.  The PBA announced the four exempt finalists and the two women's finalists (Michelle Feldman and Missy Bellinder), and after the obligatory cheering, Jaros was out of eyesight.  As a bowler, I have never competed at that level, but I have been in that situation numerous times where you think you have a game or a seeding won, but something extraordinary happens and you find yourself a few pins down.  It wasn't Jaros not doubling in the 10th frame of the last game... but its the thought that somewhere over the previous 32 games - maybe 450 shots - could he have left one less split, made one more spare, or carried just one more 10-pin?

I am sure Jaros will be fine.  People can pick on bowling all they want, but he is a professional, and he will regroup and drive to Buffalo for next week's tournament.

The thousands of you - well, make that the 18 of you that actually read my blog post from last week - may be wondering how the pre-Hallowe'en weekend worked out.  Well, do I have a story for you...

Thursday evening, (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Baby Brother, St. Jon, called with another potential doin' for the weekend.  I had forgotten that Downtown West Allis was holding its Meet & Treat from 10:00 AM to Noon on Saturday along W. Greenfield Ave. 

So during the best weather segment of last weekend, My-Sugar-Na and I took the daughters (Gooey and Sloppy) and met St. Jon and his wife, Strawberry Fields, and kids Jelly Bean and Mr. Cranky Pants behind City Hall to start meeting and treating.  The three girls ranged from scary to cute (clockwise from upper left, Gooey, Sloppy and Jelly Bean)...

Also in tow was Vier Pogo Squad 51, dressed as his "separated at birth" twin, Law & Order charachter Max Greevey...

Along the way, St. Jon mentioned that Jelly Bean was afraid of big, mascot type charachters.  But not too long after he said that, we found favorite Sesame Street charachter Elmo (on the left, with St. Jon in the center and Jelly Bean on the right)...

(Side note:  Nobody believes me when I tell them, but the puppeteer and voice for Elmo on Sesame Street is a 6'5" black guy.  Don't believe me either?  Read this.)

 Following closely behind on Greenfield Ave. were Strawberry Fields (pushing Mr. Cranky Pants) and My-Sugar-Na...

Overall it was a great time.  We started right about 10:00 AM and the volume was light as we headed east from S. 75th St.  But by the time we reached the turnaround on S. 70th St., there were kids everywhere!  At a couple of stores, the lines were at least 10 deep.  However, we completed the loop in about 75 minutes, and the kids got quite a haul.

After bidding adieu to St. Jon's family, we went home and plotted our course.  Still expecting bad weather all day Sunday, we let the girls talk us into driving to our previous neighborhood in Bay View for their nighttime Trick-or-Treat that Saturday evening.  (Side note:  I have lived in three different Bay View neighborhoods in my life, and some of the areas can get a little seedy.  However, there are a lot of nice homes in Bay View, especially between Howell Ave. and Pine St. just south of Oklahoma Ave.  It was in that area where I was stunned by the number of Obama yard signs.  They outnumbered McCain signs 10:1.  So the first house that we approach that has an Obama yard sign allows me to comment "Kids, get your candy here this year.  By next year if Obama wins, they won't be able to afford to give away candy".  Right next door was another Obama yard sign, and I said "Kids, get your candy her...." at which point, My-Sugar-Na says that kids dressed in costume don't care about what I think.  Sigh.  I'd better keep her occupied on November 4th, just in case.)

We get home around 8:30 Saturday night with enough candy to compete with Freese's.  Once the girls collapse into a sugar coma and go to bed, My-Sugar-Na and I discuss the fact that I only procured a cannister of 240 Tootsie Pops. Because I - as man and blogger - know everything, I assure her that due to the weather forecast, of course it will be enough candy.

So Sunday morning rolls around, and it is beautifully bright and sunny.  A little chilly, sure, but not nearly as bad as had been predicted.  Sigh.  So not only do I start worrying about my 240 suckers, but the girls start begging relentlessly about allowing them to Trick-or-Treat AGAIN.  I give in to them, and at 1:00 PM, my wife dutifully begins passing out the candy to the children.

Although the weather slowly deteriorated to cloudy and windy (and with a few rain drops for good measure), the kids kept coming...

OK, so we ran out of candy.  Sort of.  You see, two prior Trick-or-Treating events gave us lots of, um, let's call them "reinforcements".  I dutifully counted 25 suckers (Dum-dums, Charms, you name it) from both Gooey's and Sloppy's stashes, snuck them into the Tootsie Pop cannister, and we made it stretch until all children had been serviced.  And until they read this (unless they stop looking once they see their photo) they are nonethewiser.

(Side note: When Mitten was way, way younger - as in "pre-Gooey", he was to small too eat all of the Hallowe'en candy and Easter candy that he received.  One particular year we ran out of candy for handing out, so we actually went into the cannister of Easter and the previous year's Trick-or-Treat candy that we never finished [actually, I think we had plum forgot about it until it was "go" time].  At least the re-candying we did Sunday afternoon was only a day old instead of that year old stuff!)

Now with that said, why isn't Trick-or-Treat on Hallowe'en Night?  It worked out great in Bay View, and also in the Wedgewood Park neighborhood (in which I lived in a prior life) where Trick-or-Treating is at night.  It is way cooler than on a Sunday afternoon.

There will be one last event for My-Sugar-Na and Vier Pogo Squad 51, that would be the "Howl at the Moon Dog Walk" in New Berlin on Wednesday, October 29th @ 6:30 PM.  Our own Max Greevey will hope to win the costume contest.

I am trying to like my kids more (today, at least).

When I was growing up, the worst thing about a cold day for trick-or-treat was having to wear a big winter coat over that wonderful Superman costume that had been handcrafted by some machine in China and purchased at the Chase Avenue K-Mart.  As I grew up, that is one of those images that is kind of depressing.... some parent spent good money on a cosutme - or worse, put hours and hours of love and care into a costume - that would be hidden by a jacket and mittens.

Now for some reason, as I go through the mental file of taking my kids trick-or-treating as they grew up, I remember scads of unseasonably warm, sunny days.  Last year, I believe, was a nice day (I remember walking to Walgreens for the emergency second supply of candy without any jacket).  I remember when Mitten was about six or seven, our Wedgewood Park neighborhood had a nighttime trick-or-treat, and we invited most of Mitten's class for trick-or-treating in our neighborhood.  While the moms took the kids, the fathers sat on our front porch drinking beer and handing out the candy.  If it were cold, I don't know if we would have been outside...most likely we would have been in the basement ignoring the doorbell ringing.

Fast forward to this season.  Both of our girls, Gooey and Sloppy, are getting excited about Halloween coming up.  Both spent an unusual amount of time mentally designing their costumes.  I know My-Sugar-Na purchased Sloppy's costume a couple of weeks ago, I believe that Gooey got her's this week.  Both can't wait for West Allis'ses trick-or-treat this Sunday.

And last night the Weatherdick on the Weatherdeck (sorry, I can't take credit for that one... Dave Berkman had called him that for years when he wrote for the Shepard Express) said that it would be cold, rainy and possibly snowy during the day on Sunday.  My first thought was that there is no way they are going out without jackets.  My second thought was that in that weather, there is no way I am sitting outside handing out candy.

Thank goodness for third thoughts.  I think we're going to skip trick-or-treating this year, and instead take the girls - in costume - to varous Hallowe'en activites in the area.  Although I am still reviewing this list, it looks like we might hit the Zoo on Saturday for their Halloween Trick-or-Treat Spooktacular as the weather Saturday shouldn't be TOO bad.  Then on Sunday, we might take in Not-So-Scary Halloween at the Betty Brinn Museum.  Then just to get one final use out of those costumes, we might go on Wednesday to the Howl at the Moon Dog Walk in New Berlin. 

I'm sure Vier Pogo Squad 51 would get a kick out of that.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Animals and those creepy alien-type things on Stargate:  Today I am pleased to turn over my humble little blog to my favorite wife, My-Sugar-Na!  Please give her your undivided attention. 

After attending a MyCommunityNOW bloggers meeting last night I decided that my husband doesn't talk about West Allis enough in his blog so I am guest blogging.  Here goes.....

West Allis really is a great place to live.  I've lived in many parts of Milwaukee, from Bay View to the NW side of the city.  I even moved down to Racine for a while and then left WI all together for a few years, only to be lured back to Milwaukee.  My family has only lived in West Allis for a few years, but I really like the community.  The residents in my neck of West Allis are friendly enough and tend to keep their houses and yards well-kept.  A bonus, I thought, is that the city trims the tree branches away from the utility lines once a year.  That's a great service and saves me the time and money of having to hire someone to do that chore.

Recently the trees in our neighborhood received their annual trimming.  I didn't think anything of the tree trimming sign in the road (except that is was blocking my drive way and I had to drive up the curb to get into the drive) and I didn't even pay attention to the workers with chain saws or the wood chipper doing its thing.  I was actually glad to see my tax dollars at work.

Then it happened.  The tree in front of our house was really trimmed down; way down.  All the branches were gone; the only thing left was the bare trunk.  I didn't even notice.  My husband told me when he realized that the dog's two tree potty stop was a little brighter than usual.  Maybe the trimmers got carried away and took off too much or we misbehaved in the community and were being punished or maybe the tree was just sick.

Not knowing what was going on and being too lazy to call someone to find out, we just accepted that fact that we now had a bare tree trunk in the front of the house.  At least we would have an interesting landmark to tell people about when giving directions to our house...when you get to the giant stick in the ground, you've found us.

A few days ago I got home from work to find the tree trunk was gone.  Wow, either vandals were at work or we really did something naughty!!!

Yesterday I got home from work to see that the "Digger's Hotline" workers had made a visit to our front yard.  The underground utilities were pointed out with spray paint and little flags.

I asked my husband what he planned to dig for in the front yard - this is the same guy who made us use the broken kitchen faucet for two years because he didn't think he knew how to replace it and then boasted on his blog about practically being a plumber!!!  Needless to say, he's not very mechanically inclined.  The thought of him digging holes in the yard scared me to death.  Come to think of it, if he dug holes in the yard where would he park cars during State Fair????

After a whole lot of reassurances that he was not planning on nor intending to dig anything resembling a hole in the front yard we realized that the tree that was first shaved and then cut down would be completely gone.  The stump was going to be dug up.

Poor tree.... I wonder if we will ever we worthy enough to have another tree in out yard again?   I'm sure this is my husband's fault.  He probably wanted the tree gone to make it easier for State Fair parkers to get in and out of the yard.

The singular, A-number-1, positively, absolutely most important time in a young man's life is upon us.  For that reason, I can't blog for awhile.

My fantasy football draft is this Wednesday, September 3rd.  Blogging will resume on Thursday.  Other than rib night tonight, nothing else matters. 

Not the kids first day of school tomorrow (not including (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Son Mitten who started two weeks ago).  Not the 20 hour commercial for Jerry's kids.  Not my work.  Not even My-Sugar-Na (well, except maybe later tonight!) will come between me and drafting 18 professional football players on Wednesday.  18 men whom I will treat better than my own children, until one gets hurt or a better one comes along.  And if they behave really well and produce above my expectations, those 18 men will consume the Christmas Season.

Accompanying me to the draft Wednesday will be charts, graphs and printouts from on-line sources (inlcuding the one in which I bought a $27 subscription).  Some hope Devine Intervention gets them a good draft.  I prefer mind-numming preparation.  My-Sugar-Na doesn't really mind.  It means she gets the remote control for a few days.

With any luck, My-Sugar-Na will reintroduce me to all four children on Monday, December 29th.  God Bless the people who invented Fantasy Football.

Once again on Thursday, autos were streaming into the yard between 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM.  I have concluded that it is because the neighbors are not yet home from work so our unpaid, underage staff gets a jump.  We parked nine cars (although one was my cousin, although she paid double the rate) before the signs came out in the neighborhood.  My-Sugar-Na and I stayed out until about 6:30, and decided that was long enough to head to the Fair ourselves.

Last year when we went to the Fair, My-Sugar-Na was ahead of the curve by buying her ticket from a nogoodnik in front of Walgreens (who had sold her a used ticket).  This year we had taken advantage of the Brewers Doubleheader Deal and had our tickets in hand since early-June.  We made that laborious trek quick hop, step and jump from our house to the Fair, and the fun began

Upon entering the Fair, we didn't even waste time with dinner... it was onto the cream puffs.  With sticky fingers and faces, we then started milling the grounds aimlessly.  I did get to Ruben's BBQ, and although I saw someone gnawing at Rib Tips, I decided to have the Hot Link so we could continue strolling the Fairgrounds.  It was nice and spicy, but the sweet BBQ sauce offset it nicely.  It was a well-spent fin.

Our next stop was Mo-Joes (formerly Shakey's).  Not for the pizza, but to check up on (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Stepson, Grizzly, who was in the back cutting pizza and stuff.  Did he see us?  Youbetcha he did.  His mother and I waved, and shouted "Hi (Grizzly)" over and over, while he pretended to ignore us.  His co-workers, however, got a big kick out of it.

We did the racing pigs (by the way, I liked Robinson's Racing Pigs way more than the current Hogway Speedway), and the Wisconsin Products hall, and the typical stuff, however almost all of the animal barns were empty.  It is unfortuanate that a wholesale changeover was happeneing while we wanted to visit the piggies and moo-cows.  There were some cows and horses still around, but we got tired of chasing ghosts so we moved on.

After the obligitory stop at Lefty's Milk Barn, My-Sugar-Na still has $20 burning a hole in her pocket.  I think it is goofy to buy stuff from the flea market vendors or the Expo hall... especially if you have to carry it around the rest of the day.  But (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Father told her recently that he allows him self one $20 silly impulse purchase each year, thereby sanctioning My-Sugar-Na's shopping spree.  Apparently it didn't count that - when we were in the building with dogs - that she spent not one, but TWO dollars on the Get Kissed by a Dog booth.  The doggie in the booth was cute, but My-Sugar-Na doesn't let ME kiss her that wet and sloppily.

Walking down the Grandstand shopping villiage, I beat her to the punch by buying some 400-thread count, Egyptian Cotten bed linen.  They were $21 (with tax) but I park cars for a living, I've earned that extra buck.  My-Sugar-Na, however, was besides herself.  "I don't see anyone else carrying bed sheets.  Everybody has mops, and I want a chamois, but NOBODY has a bag of sheets".  Personally, I think she is sore that I bought something before she did.

A little while later, while I am eating my Fried Snickers bar with one hand while still grasping my priceless posession in the other, she notices that the Expo hall closes at 10:00, and we only have about 25 minutes for her to spend her $20. 

I never like the Expo hall normally because it gets so crowded, and there are kids (and those damn strollers) all over the place.  But at 9:45, it is quite empty... a lovely shopping experience indeed.  Being emptier than normal, it affords My-Sugar-Na the opportinity to spot the Sham-WOW booth.  Along the way, we found a booth that sold the latest generation of Ginsu knives, and we asked the guy for a demonstration.  He said it was too close to closing time, and since Saturday is Media Day, he couldn't show us how to cut a hammer in half with a knife.  But he did give us two plastic trinkets, and then spent five of our precious minutes showing us how the orange peeler and apple corer worked.  I pull My-Sugar-Na away... we are running out of time.

After racing through the Expo hall, here's the funny part - and trust me, if I tell you in advance it was funny, imagine if you were there! - I counted FOUR booths selling the same linens that I just bought, but we never saw a mop or chamois vendor.  OMG it was a hoot!  "There's a linen guy" I would say.  Then she would swat me in the arm.  "Look, another one".  "Ooooohhhh.  Bedsheets!".  WHAP.

Finally at 10:05 (five minues past closing time... I am just glad that the bunko squad didn't get us for making an after hours purchase) my lovely bride buys a $14 item from a vendor of dog bric-a-brak.  We leave the Expo hall, make one more trip to Mo-Joes to embarass say goodbye to Grizzly and we make our way home.  Four hours of fun.  I kind of wish we had time to go again.  However, I still have spots open on my lawn, and there are still three more days (with outstanding weather forecast) for everybody else to go and have a good time.

On my way home from work this evening, driving east on Greenfield Ave., I turned right onto 86th St. to see what the parking situation was like.

Dead.  Very, very dead.  When I got to my block, there was not one car on one lawn... as a matter of fact, there was a parking space available on the street right across from our house.  Nobody was even outside waving cars in.  Was it the forecast of a hot, humid day?  Or was it the forecast of potentially heavy rain in the evening?

Last year (on State Fair Monday) when I got home from work, My-Sugar-Na had parked one car on the lawn.  We took that fiver to Capri on 84th & Beloit for their lasagna special.  Today, she decided we were going there without first parking a car.  Such heresy, I say.

As I first slump into the recliner to get some energy to go out, we begin to watch the local “bleeding heart or scare people needlessly entertainment program".  Those friends we can count on did a story on a family that lives on 84th St., across from the Fairgrounds, that has been parking cars since about 1755.  As a matter of fact, this family knocked down a garage wall so that cars could drive directly through to the back of the lot.  Of course, the professional journalists that they are, bring us the story as if residents parking cars in their yards first happened on Saturday.  But they work in Brown Deer... they can't be expected to know about something attended by only 800,000 people per yer.

I thought that was funny.  The slowest day of the year at the Fair, and they run a story on family parkers.

A record setting day in the mobile child delivery system industry.  22 cars parked beat the record (of 21 cars set yesterday).  However to be fair, My-Sugar-Na and I made more money yesterday, as the "Demand is more than supply" theory set the pricing.  And to prove the free market works, today "Supply was more than demand", so pricing needed to be adjusted accordingly.  However as of tonight, we are 60% of what we made last year, with a full week to go.  My theory that more folks are taking local vacations seems to be bearing out. 

However, I did park two cars with Illinois plates today.  They were both good sports, however, none agreed to pay the "The Cubs can *** my *** tax.  They also wouldn't pay the $20 exit fee to leave my driveway.  Typical Cubs fans.

So my lovely bride and I park 22 cars (with a yard capacity of 12) from 11:00 AM through 6:00 PM, and I fire up the ol' grill for dinner.  We eat, I shower, then flop exhaustedly onto the couch with the intent of flipping mindlessly through the channels, while thinking of how I can get to a craps game with my parking take (before My-Sugar-Na blows it all on bills and school supplies).  The plan was to fall asleep on the couch around 8:00 PM, wake up when the missus goes to bed, then get on-line and make this blog entry. 

I start flipping the channels at 4.  Then 5.  Then 6.  Then I drop my remote control.  There is a camera pointed at some clouds in Green Bay, and within seconds, a private plane lands at Apple Struedel airport.  Brett Favre has made it to terra firma in Wisconsin.  But why in the hell are we now watching his car drive to his house?  Why is the camera in the helicopter (why is there a helicopter?) following Favre's SUV OJ-style until he pulls into his garage.  Did Favre kill his former wife and her current lover?  Does he have a gun to his head?  Does this mean the Houston Rockets are about to win the NBA title this week?

No.  It means three things.  It means that (1) it is raining in Green Bay and they are delaying the start of the Packers Family Night exhibition (which in it self is a reason to be upset... we are missing a Simpsons rerun); (2) that some TV station in Green Bay is justifying the use of their station helicopter, and (3) Brett Favre is God... actually bigger than God, as I don't ever recall a helicopter following God around as he puts the Virgin Mary's face on a tortilla in Mexico.

On Steve's blog, I joked that lots of people are currently better QBs that Favre.  In reality, I contend that CURRENTLY, he barely cracks the Top 10.  Whatever the case may be, I got sick of this drama a month ago while I first saw it while in a hotel room in Albuquerque watching My-Sugar-Na sleep.  Favre is a legend, check.  The Packers believe that Aaron Rodgers in 2008 is a better option than Favre, check.  Favre (whether coerced or not) retired, check.  Favre didn't make it through one off-season before unretiring, check.  Favre will be reinstated into the NFL tomorrow (Monday) morning, check.  Favre either will play the 2008 season for the Packers or not-the-Packers, check.

Everything else is garbage and speculation.

Yesterday, the NFL Network announced that Favre would accept the Packers $20,000,000 bribe personal services contract.  At the same time, ESPN's Ed Werder said that Favre would play again this season.

When the NFL's own mouthpiece can't get it right, you know that nobody knows what the F-bomb is going on.  Now its time to watch Law & Order: Criminal Intent.  Too bad its not a Mike Logan one.

What a silly question.  Of course I saw Mamma Mia! this past weekend and not Batman.  Are you daft for thinking otherwise?

Everybody is Ohhh'ing and Ahhh'ing Batman's record setting weekend, and based on the critics opinions, there is a reason for it.  Meanwhile, Mamma Mia! was a distant, distant second this weekend (with about 1/7 of the attendance) and the critics were far more iffy about this movie.

I learned a long time ago that I am not a science fiction fan.  I loved Batman growing up... the Adam West version.  In the mid-80s I bought the paperback book companion to the show.  I saw Michael Keaton's Batman in 1989 and fell asleep in the theater.  In the 20 years since, I haven't seen another Batman movie, as each one has gotten darker (both in plot and screen visuals).  I have also long since tired of big explosions / special effects / camera tricks / have you seen The Matrix? / CGI video games, etc.  When the climax of a movie is 50% animation, it's like a dead ball... it stops everything.  My mind (and sometimes my mouth) says "Come on, now"... then I lose focus on what I am watching

An example?  In Indiana Jones and Company Travel to South America to Send an Alien Skull Back to Planet Rencar, there is a jeep chase through a jungle, around trees and over bumpy terrain in which both jeeps travel side - by - side for about 213 miles with characters standing on the hood and seats to battle.  That scene, which clocked in at about 43 minutes, shut me off for the rest of the movie. 

It is one thing to suspend belief and get lost in a movie.  It is another altogether to disobey the laws of physics and computer animation for the sake of making a movie important enough to tie into a Burger King sandwich.

The former brings me back to Mamma Mia.  I saw the show in Las Vegas in 2005, and my parents had seen it in May on Broadway (hours before I started diving into my 3/4# rueben sandwich), so My-Sugar-Na and I went with them to see the show at the Palladium at the Majestic Theater.  You have to suspend belief when - to the tune of "Dancing Queen" - Christine Baranski is singing into a stick of deodorant.  You can get lost in a movie when Pierce Brosnan throws out a vocal chord trying (in vain) to get through "SOS".  Mamma Mia! is fun.  And for $50 (tickets and dinner), I sure want to have fun... not to ponder that potential grey area between good and evil.

Besides, look at the supporting players... You have the super-hot Amanda Seyfried in a bathing suit doing a cat walk across the beach versus a character with bad make-up played by a guy that wasn't smart enough to stay alive until the movie premier.

And you're surprised I chose Mamma Mia over Batman?