1)  When you are driving on the freeway in the snow and the rest of the traffic is going 45 MPH, then YOU should go 45 MPH or else get off the freeway.  If you are afraid to maintain freeway speeds in the snow, park the car in the garage and take the bus.  Along those lines, JS Online had a poll question that asked what annoys people most after a snowfall, fast drivers or slow drivers.  It was a dumb question, it should have asked "which drivers are more dangerous in the snow, fast drivers or slow drivers?"  Slow drivers are far more dangerous because everyone is trying to go around them causing cars to slide while switching lanes, and causing the pokey drivers to panic and drive even slower.  I was behind a car with an easy to memorize vanity plate.  I won't call out her car here, but if I ever get stuck behind her and find that she is soley causing a traffic disaster on I-894 southbound between the Zoo and the Hale again, I will identify her.

2)  Companies (and the one I work for is one of them) have this nice touchy-feeley line in the employee manual that says that it is important to strike a balance between work and family, and that we give you X-number of vacation days (based on tenure).  Then around Thanksgiving, they send the ominous "Use 'em or lose 'em" memo.  If they were so concerned about my balance, they wouldn't have had a problem with me carrying three days into next year... but I digress.  I had three vacation days to burn in December and took the three Mondays off.  Other than shovel snow and make dinner, I did nothing constructive on those days.  Great for balence, eh?

3)  Fantasy Football stinks.  And not just because I finished 7-7 (for the third year in a row) and missed the playoffs and prize money.  Bill Simmons said it the best (read the Chicago Bears comments), but to summarize, it is basically a $120 lottery.  In August you lose yourself in football websites at the expense of family to "prepare" for the draft, in September you dump the $120 entry fee (and if you are truly a sucker like me, you pay $26 for a website that does the week-to-week homework for you).  You spend countless hours caring about an otherwise meaningless Bengals/Browns game because your 3rd best running back is playing (because your best running back got injured the prior week and may not play, but by the time you choose that Browns RB, your first RB is not only healty but scores three TDs).  Despite Chef Tomas' help, my season basically ended 7 minutes into the first game on the first Sunday as my QB Tom Brady got injured.  I picked #3 in the draft and took Brady, and he got me 3 points for the entire season.  By the way, next year's draft is the first Wednesday in September at Riviera Lanes.  If you are interested....

4)  Back to the snow (because, well, it snows every third day, so it should be part of every third rant); My driveway is very long and in back fans out to a three-car garage.  In minor snowfalls, it isn't a big deal to shovel/snowblow.  But in major storms or when the snow is wet and heavy, our snowblower gets cranky (and I get crankier because that driveway seems to get longer).  I had a bright idea to call a couple of plowing services, but I couldn't believe what they quoted.  What happened to guys with plowing attachments on their pick-up trucks doing driveways for $20?

5)  The Christmas music on XM has disappointed me this year.  Last year, the "Holiday Traditions" station (XM channel 36) played the more traditional music and had quite a few instrumentals.  This year, it seems like there is far less variety, and apparently the after the merger with Sirius, the definition of "Tradition" has changed.  They didn't go a far as programming the warbling Kelly Clarkson or Celine Dionne, but I personally banned the station after hearing three times at work yesterday (in my best Casey Kasem voice) The new Number One Hated Christmas Song, The Carpenter's "Merry Christmas Darling".  This morning, I dug out my three Mannheim Steamroller CDs, The Brian Setzer Orchestra's "Boogie-Woogie Christmas" and Harry Connick's "Harry for the Holidays" and took them to work.  All I am missing is my Neil Diamond Christmas cassette tape.

6)  I will be going to Chicago (well, Hoffman Estates) to watch the Milwaukee Wave play the Chicago Storm this Saturday.  I will also watch the rematch from the US Cellular Arena on New Year's Eve.  I plan on comparing the venues, presentation, talent, etc., and talk about the new XSL.  If I get around to it, I will also comment on the rival NISL.

7)  I have a theory on how TV weather forecasters predict snowfall amounts.  First, be the first to predict any snow.  Then let your competitors quote an expected amount (say, 2" - 4").  Then another competitor tops it (3" - 6").  By this time, the storm has gotten closer and the original predictor not only tops it (5" - 10"), but also pin points it to neighborhoods.  The bottom line is that the fish will go to the TV station with the most ominous forecast, so the forecasters need to have the biggest hook.  As long as I am beating up on TV weatherdorks, didja ever notice that when TV stations interrupt their programming for an update from the weather office, the guy has his tie loosened, his top button undone, the coat off and the sleeves rolled up.  20 minutes later when the local news starts, he is fully dressed.  MARKETING, PEOPLE.  That rolled-up-sleeve look is to make you think he is working hard... and everybody falls for it.  They aren't making the weather, they are looking at the radar and reading the National Weather Service alerts.  I am not saying that the weather guys aren't trained and are or aren't worth their money.  I am saying that during rough weather, they are not working so hard that they have to get practically undressed.  They do it so you think they are working that hard.

8)  Which public agency will be the first to cancel an activity or meeting tonight because it is supposed to snow starting between 9:00 and midnight?  Never mind.  I just checked and the Greendale Park and Rec department cancelled an activity for tonight.  It isn't even supposed to START snowing until bedtime!  Arrggghhh!  

9)  Las Vegas got their largest December snowfall in history (4+ inches in some spots) yesterday in the storm that is headed our way.  I can't wait to call a former supplier in Las Vegas and complain to him about sending his weather to us!

10)  Wrap up... My-Sugar-Na said she wanted to guest blog, still waiting... Mitten told me this morning as I was driving him to his school bus stop that it looked like people were already driving slower because snow was expected later today.  And when I looked around, he was right... Gasoline, steel and copper prices are crashing, why am I not seeing price decreases from my suppliers?...  My elbow is feeling much better and my bowling scores are showing it.  I am looking forward to tournament season starting in January... Nice... Not that I am promoting this, but just passing along that the Lingerie Football League has placed a team in Chicago for the 2009 season... Our company is catering lunch tomorrow.  Should be lots of leftovers as I can't imagine good attendance tomorrow... Don't say Happy Holidays.  At least man-up and say which holiday that you want to be happy.  Merry Christmas, Solemn Ramadan, Kwazy Kwanzaa, whatever.  But this is still a country founded by Christians, don't be afraid to say Merry Christmas; you'll be right far more often then you'd be wrong...  If you enjoy my blog, don't be afraid to tell him that I deserve a Christmas Bonus.

The singular, A-number-1, positively, absolutely most important time in a young man's life is upon us.  For that reason, I can't blog for awhile.

My fantasy football draft is this Wednesday, September 3rd.  Blogging will resume on Thursday.  Other than rib night tonight, nothing else matters. 

Not the kids first day of school tomorrow (not including (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Son Mitten who started two weeks ago).  Not the 20 hour commercial for Jerry's kids.  Not my work.  Not even My-Sugar-Na (well, except maybe later tonight!) will come between me and drafting 18 professional football players on Wednesday.  18 men whom I will treat better than my own children, until one gets hurt or a better one comes along.  And if they behave really well and produce above my expectations, those 18 men will consume the Christmas Season.

Accompanying me to the draft Wednesday will be charts, graphs and printouts from on-line sources (inlcuding the one in which I bought a $27 subscription).  Some hope Devine Intervention gets them a good draft.  I prefer mind-numming preparation.  My-Sugar-Na doesn't really mind.  It means she gets the remote control for a few days.

With any luck, My-Sugar-Na will reintroduce me to all four children on Monday, December 29th.  God Bless the people who invented Fantasy Football.

Some time in 2007, (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Daughter, Gooey, and (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Stepdaughter, Sloppy, concocted Cheer Day.  Conveniently held in conjunction with Sloppy's birthday party, Cheer Day was to be a day when the two girls thrilled us with their repartee of cheers and dances.  However, Gooey had broken her arm in the week leading up to Cheer Day, and on the big day wasn't feeling well.  In other words, the First Annual Cheer Day fizzled.

About two days after the first Cheer Day, the girls started planning the Second Annual Cheer Day... which ended up being today (Saturday 6-7).  Amazingly coincidentally, today was Sloppy's birthday, so a grand gala celebration was in order.  I honestly have to admire the two girls dedication.  Every conversation out of their mouth centered around Cheer Day... even the conversations at Halloween, Christmas, etc.  They planned a menu, a schedule, games and - of course - the cheers.

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Below, please relive Cheer Day with us in pictures.  First up is the preparation of the house, with Knobbleknees and Gooey getting the fruit platter ready, and (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Stepson, Grizzly showing off his sporty summer doo.

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Next up is Grandma, who apparently really loves the late Spunky the Weather Dog's owner.  That red blob on the radar is heading our way... better get Cheer Day started!

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You can already see the sky turning Ominously Dark (it'll cost Crayola a pretty penny to use that color name).  Undaunted, the ladies continue their routine.  It is very clear that they did a lot of practice.

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A standing room only crowd is in attendance.  Out of the range of the camera is Knobbleknees, who is dancing like a groupie at a rock concert.

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The last cheer of the afternoon included the assistant from the audience.  This time, sorta-sister Jendy Wo filled that role.

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Some of the family members took shelter from the Tornado Warning in the basement.  When not taking the photos, (Sponsor's Name Here) was standing on the front porch, watching the storm pass.

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Some families, when riding out the storm in the basement, do arts and crafts to pass the time.  Or pray.  But not the James family.  Below is (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Son, Mitten and Mr. Uncie playing a foosball match against Knobbleknees and My-Sugar-Na.

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Finally, since it WAS Sloppy's birthday, everybody gathered up the gumption to go back upstairs, sing Happy Birthday to The Sloppy One, and partake in the Roundy's Birthday Bounty (aka a cake and ice cream from Pick N Save).

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All in all, it was a great day... one of those days that you look back on in 25 years, and remember how great it is to have a big family.  With that said, there is a chance that the Third Annual Cheer Day in 2009 might be expanded.  If my schedule is accurate, we will be selling out the State Fair Grandstand by 2014, Miller Park by 2018, and world domination by 2027.

Last week Friday (January 11th), I had surgery on my right elbow.  The first time I had a twinge in my elbow was in Januray 2005.  At that time, I had bowled three nights a week for a few years, but I was only bowling one night a week for the beginning of that seaon.  I was asked to bowl in a new league for the second half of that season, and on the very first night on this new team I felt a twinge in my elbow.  Not that it really hurt, because that same week I bowled a career-high 847 series at Bluemound Bowl (which included two 300 games).

The elbow got a little worse in the early part of 2005, but not painful enough to get anything done about it... it was more of a nagging ache that bothered me worse on some days than other days.  As a matter of fact, in April of that year I bowled an 804 series (the only time in my career that I had bowled two 800+ series in the same season).

When the bowling season started that next September, the arm was hurting even more.  I finally saw a doctor and got a steriod shot.  The shot worked wonders and I completed the 2005-06 season without any more pain.  My family doctor figured that it was probably an inflamed tendon (tendonitis) and the steroid shot had done its job (reduced the inflammation and promoted healing).  Unfortunatly, when bowling started in September 2006, the pain had returned.  My doctor gave me a second shot and said that if it comes back, he would refer me to a sports medicine doctor.  That shot lasted about five months before the pain returned in February 2007.

My sports medicine doctor wanted a "less invasive" course of treatment, so I went to an occupational therapist for massage, ultrasound, iontopheresis and some strengthening and stretching exercises.  All of that therapy worked for that day (meaning when I walked out of the office it felt great, then when I woke up the next morning it hurt again).  I bowled the National tournament in Reno in May, and by about the second game of the nine-game tournament, I had wished I had gotten another shot.  It hurt.  A lot.  And I spent more time whining to my team and to my wife that I was wasting my vacation.  In hindsight, it was still a great vacation, but a true waste of the yearly shot at bowling well at the National tournament.

My sports medicine doctor told me to take a month off but to continue the exercises.  I did so, and after a month of not bowling, I joined a summer league for the first time in about ten years.  On the first night of the summer league, my elbow hurt as bad as it ever had.  My sports medicine doctor then gave me a third steroid shot, and the warning that if this doesn't take care of it, further intervention would be required.

Sure enough, that shot didn't completely take away my soreness (though it did feel a lot better).  But around Halloween - only four short months later - the severe pain came back with a vengence.  I took a few weeks off of bowling (and threw my last ball of the season on the Friday after Thanksgiving), made an appointment for an MRI, and learned of the diognosis of "tendonosis, resulting from chronic medial epicondylitis - AKA Golfer's Elbow".  In other words, the previous tendonitis had left scar tissue, and now that scar tissue was causing problems of its own.  The flexor muscle had some minute tearing, and the scar tissue was preventing my body from repairing itself.  The longer it went on, the more the muscle was getting "tangled" in the scar tissue. 

The week before the surgery, the muscle damage was so bad that I couldn't straighten my right arm, I couldn't rotate my forearm, and it hurt to do everything that a right handed person would do with his/her right hand.  Considering the surgeon said that the "procedure" lasted only 30 minutes, he had the time to make a four-inch incision, remove the scar tissue, "release" the muscle, remove the damaged muscle, then reattach part of that muscle to the bone. 

I did learn a lot about how the body can compensate.  For example, before the surgery, I tried to shave left handed and it was a disaster.  Since the surgery, I managed to successfully shave twice.  Eating left handed with a fork wasn't a major issue, but try eating a messy hamburger one-handed (with either hand!)  With My-Sugar-Na's help, I was quickly able to figure out ways to tie my shoes and get my jacket on, and (confession time, here), I was VERY successful playing craps and Pai Gow Poker at Potowatomi with only my left hand.

It has now been a full week.  Although the stitches are still there (and they itch like hell), I have almost no pain.  I am not supposed to lift anything, but I have more use of my elbow now than I did before the surgery.  About the only time it hurts right now is when I stretch the arm to put on a jacket or sweatshirt, when I bump the incision, or when I am on the computer too long (this post is the most typing that I have done in about two weeks, and I am now starting to get a little sore.)

As I mentioned above, I am done bowling for this season, and I will miss my scheduled Nationals date of May 7 in Albuquerque.  The tournament runs through early-July, and my goal is to spend Independance Day in New Mexico. 

Now about that right knee, which my family doctor thinks is either bursitis or patellar tendonitis...