(Sponsor's Name Here)

Considering that your Milwaukee Brewers made the playoffs for the first time in 26 seasons, I am genuinely crushed that I can't talk reasonably and rationally about the team this week.  From "They suck" to "Their horrible" to "They suck", it seems to be the only conversation I can have about the Brewers this week.

First the set-up...  I have a week or so of vacation days left and three months in which to use them.  So when it was announced that the Brewers were playing Wednesday afternoon, I immediately took a half-day vacation and invited everybody that I knew that fit into one of these categories:

1. Unemployed
2. Retired
3. Work from home
4. Worker bees with possible vacation time to burn

Unfortunately (which goes to my true popularity) other than myself and My-Sugar-Na, only three others showed up; my bowling uncle UJ, my aunt, and my friend (formerly known as "My good friend, I'll call him Joe", but from here forward will be known as "Ray Sunshine").  I popped a coupla Nick N Willie's in the oven, poured my guests a Diet Coke with Splenda and started watching the game.

Without rehasing the entire game, the turning point was clearly the third inning when Bill Hall bobbled a bunt from the pitcher, and instead of getting the lead runner he instead had to throw to first to retire the batter but Rickie Weeks dropped the ball.  Shortly thereafter, a Mike Cameron misjudged a major league fly ball in a thunderstorm, and in giving a professional baseball team 5 or 6 outs, the score was 3-0 in favor of the Phillies.

So for the next six innings, I wanted to talk about "the worst part of the fielding problems is that Yovanni Gallardo had to throw 20 more pitches", or that "the wind is really playing havoc with the fielders."  Instead, Ray Sunshine kept hammering....

• "These aren't major leaguers"
• "Rickie Weeks is a collosal flop who should be released"
• "Oh, no!  Why is (fill in the blank) warming up?"
• "Major league teams play defense"
• "Ned Yost never stressed fundamentals"
• (If a Brewers batter looks at strike one) "I could have hit that!  You've got to be agressive"
• (If a Brewers batter made out swinging at the first pitch) "Come on!  You've got to know how to work the count"
• (After Weeks was removed in favor of Craig Counsell as part of a double-switch) "Great, replace one .220-hitting-bobble-glove with a .220-hitting-no-range-old-man"
• And so on, to the point where My-Sugar-Na actually said "Well you're just a ray of sunshine today!"

I then watched the Dodgers beat up the Cubs, and the homestanding Angels lose to the Red Sox, and I said to myself that the Brewers didn't look any worse than the Cubs or Angels - both superior teams.

Then on Thursday, before I left for bowling I watched part of the game.  I left after CC Sabathia gave up the grand slam to Shane Victorino.  When I got to the bowling alley, Sabathia was still struggling and there was action in the bullpen.  Ray Sunshine, who conveniently bowls with me, went on and on and on about how a struggling Sabathia is still better than the rest of the Brewers bullpen, and that Dale Sveum didn't get the team ready to play, etc.

And when that game ended with the Brewers on the short end of a 5-2 decision, my good friend, I'll call him Scott, said "Now that this garbage is done, can we turn on something that matters to the gambling public?" which turned out to be the South Florida / Pitt college football game.

Rounding out my long-winded set-up is an E-mail that I received a few weeks ago from my good friend, I'll call him John from New Berlin...

He said "All season I have been witness to the total ignorance of the football people who purport to be baseball fans because the team is suddenly in contention.  Now and here’s proof that the players know the fans are ignorant also.  Corey Hart made the out-of-right-field assertion that the Brewers were glad to go to Philadelphia -- a place famous for ornery fans -- to escape the boos.  "It actually felt more like a home game than playing at Miller Park," said Hart, who finished 1-for-3 with a double. "We didn't hear the boos that we have been. That's the way it goes, everybody is expecting to win and it's been a battle. ... Obviously, it's not for a lack of hustle or a lack of effort. It's just one of those things that if a guy makes an error or a guy strikes out and you have your hometown booing you, it makes you ready to get out of there and go somewhere else.”

I went last Sunday afternoon (in early-Sept) and had a “discussion” with a guy who insisted that Prince Fielder should be bunting more often.  He also insisted that Washington was an American league team.   Another fan stated that Yost continually took some pitchers out too soon and left others in too long.  I wonder how just he developed that knack to know exactly when a pitcher should be taken out of a game and never made it as a baseball manager in life.  How do you discuss baseball with someone of such an intelligence level?

If I were a player here I would NEVER come out for a curtain call just for the reasons stated above by Hart.  I’m sure Sabathia has duly noted the way his teammates are treated by the “adoring” throngs if they leave runners on base or commit an error.  I swear that 90% of these new fans never played hardball in their lives and think that it works about the same as softball with just a few rule changes.  In some ways I long for the days of 78-84 because you knew real baseball fans were there, especially in September."

John from New Berlin won't believe this, but I was mentally forming this blog for weeks before he sent this to me.  But he fact is that as a city, Milwaukee has lousy baseball fans.  Fans that don't know the game, and fans that think because guys like Narciso Elvira, Izzy Alcantara, Jimmy Osting, Tom Brunansky, Charlie Hayes, Bill Pulsipher, Joe Winkelsas or the Mouton boys couldn't propel the team into the playoffs when they played, that it is acceptable to boo Prince Fielder, Rickie Weeks or Joe Dillon because YOU'RE frustrated.

One bone of contention with so many people that I talk to is who the leadoff hitter should be.  Personally, I like Corey Hart in that position.  Yost liked Rickie Weeks, and Sveum has tabbed Mike Cameron.  But everybody with an opinion on whomever is currently the leadoff hitter all agrees that THAT player shouldn't be leading off.  The judge of a good leadoff hitter is mostly On-base percentage (OBP) and Stolen bases (SB)  Let's look at these 2008 stats (these are for the year, not just the month of September when everybody stopped hitting at once)....

• Corey Hart - Batting Average (BA) .268 / OBP .300 / SB 23 out of 30 attempts
• Rickie Weeks - BA .234 / OBP .342 / SB 19 out of 24 attempts
• Mike Cameron - BA .243 / OBP .331 / SB 17 out of 22 attempts
• Entire Brewers roster - BA .253 / OBP .325
• Every leadoff hitter in the National League - BA .274 / OBP .342

This tells me a lot.  It tells me that Hart is the best hitter of those three Brewers, but if he doesn't get a hit, he isn't getting on first base.  Weeks doesn't have as high of an average, but must work the count and take a lot of walks.  He is also quite good at stealing base.  Mike Cameron is in the middle.  Clearly, for a leadoff hitter, Weeks and Cameron are better choices than Hart, and that is why Yost was and Sveum is a major league manager and I am not.

But look at that last line.  The average OBP of every leadoff hitter in the league is exactly the same as Weeks.  That tells me that Weeks is average, not "useless" like Ray Sunshine insists.  The only three other 2008 Brewers with a higher OBP than Weeks is Fielder (.372, and he ain't leadin' off), Craig Counsell (.355 OBP) and Ray Durham (.369) and both Counsell and Durham are old platooners.  Other than that, there is NOTHING.  Now, if you (or Ray Sunshine) want to argue that the Brewers need to upgrade the leadoff hitter, you can win that one easily.  But don't be down on Weeks or Cameron because they are the best of a motley lot.

I could go onto the bullpen (which, by the way, ranks FOURTH in the National League in ERA, and in eight innings in the playoffs have not allowed one run.)  But the common fan couldn't get past Eric Gagne blowing a save in Game 1 against the Cubs in April, or Guillermo Mota and Salomon Torres blowing a 5-0, 9th inning lead in Arizona in July.  But trust me.  I would win that arguement.

Look, my intent is not to knock all 3 million that paid $12 to $85 a game to watch the Brewers perform.  God knows that there were many times in the mid-90s when John from New Berlin and I were the only two in the entire stadium.  And it is you 3 million people that are paying Sabathia, Sheets, Gagne, etc,. and without you the team will be nowhere near the playoffs.

But if you are going to spend all that money, shouldn't you have some clue what you're talking about?  Understand the team's limits.  Their overall batting average isn't very high, they don't bunt, run or field better than most teams, and well, the starting pitching depth isn't great.  Gang, enjoy this.  This is the first time in 26 years the Brewers made the playoffs, and if they lose Sabathia it may be 26 more.  Have fun, and I'll see you at this weekend's games (that's right, I'll be at BOTH games!)

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Animals and those creepy alien-type things on Stargate:  Today I am pleased to turn over my humble little blog to my favorite wife, My-Sugar-Na!  Please give her your undivided attention. 

After attending a MyCommunityNOW bloggers meeting last night I decided that my husband doesn't talk about West Allis enough in his blog so I am guest blogging.  Here goes.....

West Allis really is a great place to live.  I've lived in many parts of Milwaukee, from Bay View to the NW side of the city.  I even moved down to Racine for a while and then left WI all together for a few years, only to be lured back to Milwaukee.  My family has only lived in West Allis for a few years, but I really like the community.  The residents in my neck of West Allis are friendly enough and tend to keep their houses and yards well-kept.  A bonus, I thought, is that the city trims the tree branches away from the utility lines once a year.  That's a great service and saves me the time and money of having to hire someone to do that chore.

Recently the trees in our neighborhood received their annual trimming.  I didn't think anything of the tree trimming sign in the road (except that is was blocking my drive way and I had to drive up the curb to get into the drive) and I didn't even pay attention to the workers with chain saws or the wood chipper doing its thing.  I was actually glad to see my tax dollars at work.

Then it happened.  The tree in front of our house was really trimmed down; way down.  All the branches were gone; the only thing left was the bare trunk.  I didn't even notice.  My husband told me when he realized that the dog's two tree potty stop was a little brighter than usual.  Maybe the trimmers got carried away and took off too much or we misbehaved in the community and were being punished or maybe the tree was just sick.

Not knowing what was going on and being too lazy to call someone to find out, we just accepted that fact that we now had a bare tree trunk in the front of the house.  At least we would have an interesting landmark to tell people about when giving directions to our house...when you get to the giant stick in the ground, you've found us.

A few days ago I got home from work to find the tree trunk was gone.  Wow, either vandals were at work or we really did something naughty!!!

Yesterday I got home from work to see that the "Digger's Hotline" workers had made a visit to our front yard.  The underground utilities were pointed out with spray paint and little flags.

I asked my husband what he planned to dig for in the front yard - this is the same guy who made us use the broken kitchen faucet for two years because he didn't think he knew how to replace it and then boasted on his blog about practically being a plumber!!!  Needless to say, he's not very mechanically inclined.  The thought of him digging holes in the yard scared me to death.  Come to think of it, if he dug holes in the yard where would he park cars during State Fair????

After a whole lot of reassurances that he was not planning on nor intending to dig anything resembling a hole in the front yard we realized that the tree that was first shaved and then cut down would be completely gone.  The stump was going to be dug up.

Poor tree.... I wonder if we will ever we worthy enough to have another tree in out yard again?   I'm sure this is my husband's fault.  He probably wanted the tree gone to make it easier for State Fair parkers to get in and out of the yard.

I might have a line on a ticket for myself for tonight's Brewers/Cubs game at Wrigley.

Refreshing everybody's memory, the Brewers are now 4-3 at Wrigley, and I have been to two of the Brewers losses there in April.  Also, I have been to four Brewers/Cubs games this season, and the Brewers are 0-4 in those four games.

Anyone want to pay me NOT to go to the game tonight?

On Tuesday evening, September 9th (Side note; coincedentally, I was at County Stadium exactly 16 years earlier watching Robin Yount get his 3000th hit), I took (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Son, Mitten to the Brewers game.  It was a cool but comfortable evening, but with the Miller Park dome closed, it was a great night for baseball.  And except for Jeff Suppan and some guy that I've never heard of going to a 3-1 count on every batter before every batter started fouling off pitches, we had a great time.  (Side note; on Saturday, September 6th, My-Sugar-Na and I watched the Brewers beat the Padres in 2 hours and 7 minutes.  By comparison, at 9:14 PM on Tuesday, we were in the top of the 6th inning.)

As the game meandered on way past Mitten's bedtime, Ray Durham (who clearly doesn't respect a child's need for sleep) hit a game-tying 3-run home run in the 7th inning, and the hapless Reds and ice cold Brewers played on into the night.

In the top of the 11th, the crowd (well, at least Section 215) was awakened by a foul ball by one Mr. Edwin Encarnacion of the Reds.  The ball hit off of the facade between the 2nd and 3rd decks (it actually hit the ribbon scoreboard, but facade is a much cooler word).  The rebound of the ball hit the armrest of a seat in our row, and ricocheted off my cheek (the one on my face, guys...) and harmlessly onto the concrete steps.  Enter Mitten, who was sitting in the aisle seat. 

As the ball rolled down a couple of steps, there was this young boy, we'll call him Poor Timmy.  Poor Timmy was struggling to stand up, what with his leg braces and crutches and all.  Poor Timmy had just about managed to scoop up the errant ball when Mitten - using a shoulder block learned by watching years of soccer and football - flung Poor Timmy about four seats into the row.  As Mitten was holding the ball over his head in triumphant glory, Poor Timmy was battling for his life because his crutch acted like a lever and had flung Poor Timmy perilously towards the railing in front of the first row.  Luckily another ballpark patron, we'll call her 92-Year Old Gladys, broke his fall with the back of her neck.  The force of the Poor Timmy vs. 92-Year Old Gladys collision resulted in 92-Year Old Gladys hitting the railing square in the mush.  There was a real casualty in all of this, however, as 92-Year Old Gladys' husband, we'll call him 89-Year Old Aloys, lost his bratwurst over the railing in the excitement.  Rumor was that he lost something else, too, except somebody admitted to spilling a beer under 89-Year Old Aloys' seat.

All this so Mitten could get an $8 baseball.

The singular, A-number-1, positively, absolutely most important time in a young man's life is upon us.  For that reason, I can't blog for awhile.

My fantasy football draft is this Wednesday, September 3rd.  Blogging will resume on Thursday.  Other than rib night tonight, nothing else matters. 

Not the kids first day of school tomorrow (not including (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Son Mitten who started two weeks ago).  Not the 20 hour commercial for Jerry's kids.  Not my work.  Not even My-Sugar-Na (well, except maybe later tonight!) will come between me and drafting 18 professional football players on Wednesday.  18 men whom I will treat better than my own children, until one gets hurt or a better one comes along.  And if they behave really well and produce above my expectations, those 18 men will consume the Christmas Season.

Accompanying me to the draft Wednesday will be charts, graphs and printouts from on-line sources (inlcuding the one in which I bought a $27 subscription).  Some hope Devine Intervention gets them a good draft.  I prefer mind-numming preparation.  My-Sugar-Na doesn't really mind.  It means she gets the remote control for a few days.

With any luck, My-Sugar-Na will reintroduce me to all four children on Monday, December 29th.  God Bless the people who invented Fantasy Football.

On May 30th, the Major Indoor Soccer League folded.  The speculation is that because the league by-laws allowed defunct teams to have an equal vote on all league matters (as long as they paid their yearly franchise fee) and by the end of last season, there were more former owners without teams than there were current owners with teams.  By folding the league and starting over, they ridded themselves of these owners without teams.

The problem over the summer was that the owners couldn't decide on how to reformat the new league.  At issue were the number of teams (of the eight remaining MISL teams, three were in the midwest [Milwaukee, Detroit and Chicago], four were on the east coast [Balitmore, Philadelphia, New Jersey and Orlando] and one in Mexico [Monterrey].), the calendar schedule and number of games, and the salary cap.  Also muddying the waters are that two of the cities - Baltimore and Philadelphia - may lose their arenas after this season.

Today, for better or worse (mostly worse), the soccer world mourns the creation of the Xtreme Soccer League.  This potential disaster has so far identified only Milwaukee, Chicago, New Jersey and Detroit as teams.  When a niche sport issues a press release with phrases like "the XSX is an energetic and innovative 12-month experience" and “To be a part of this lifestyle brand is a dream come true", no further comment from the blogger is required.  Except one...

Pray for us soccer fans.  Please.

I agree with most of the commenters of yesterday's post... Good for him.

The reason I brought this topic up was the numerous articles and blogs that I had read that all included comments from various doctors and nutritionists that commented that Wheaties is a far more healthful product than Frosted Flakes, like this and this and this and this and this and this.

This is one of the very few blog entries in which I am soliciting comments.

Fact:  Michael Phelps signed an endorsement deal with Frosted Flakes.

Good or bad?  And why?

I will try to be calm for this post, but it is very hard.  For that reason, this post will be very short.

Mandatory Metallica is on XM Channel 51 non-stop through September 30th.  Metallica is the best metal band in history by most measures; number of hits, longevity, concert attendance, relevance, whatever.

• Sad But True
• The Unforgiven
• The Unforgiven II
• King Nothing
• Enter Sandman
• Fuel (aka the Derrick Turnbow music.  Little did the Brewers know Turnbow = gasoline)
• Hero of the Day
• Nothing Else Matters
• So What
• Whiskey in the Jar-O
• No Leaf Clover
• Many more hits
• Many songs I've never listened to.

Now turn on Channel 51, or log into XM Radio to listen on-line.  Don't have an account?  Sign up for a free trial.

I'm ending my post now.  I only have 991 consecutive hours left.

Thank you to everybody who expressed their concern.

Before I get into my rant on the Olympics, let me first, the wrap-up my State Fair commentary.

On the last day of the Fair on Sunday, we were able to park 15 cars... the first 13 (my yard's capacity) were parked in about 90 minutes.  All told for the Fair, we parked 128 cars in 11 days, and we increased our revenue by 40%.  State Fair officials reported a 9% increase in attendance, and I think that perfect weather had a lot to do with it.

When My-Sugar-Na returned, I promised her anything she wanted for dinner.  She chose a return trip to the State Fair, so after parking the last blue Nissan Sentra in our garage about 6:00 PM, we headed northeast, knowing that - at best - we had three hours before closing.  With (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Son, Mitten and Official Stepdaughter, Sloppy, in tow, My-Sugar-Na had three things in mind for dinner; onion rings, corn and a hamburger.

When we were at the Fair on Thursday evening, we stood in one particular spot and could smell a heavy dose of onions.  We could see Miss Katie's Diner and a sign for onion rings, so we assumed that was the place.  Although the rings from Miss Katie's were good, I think we figured out that the onion smell was coming from Charlie's Italian Sausage stand.  Smelling them, Mitten decided that was his dinner instead of anywhere else.

Next was a stop at the traditional New Berlin Lions Club corn stand... for corn.  Then we made it to the Beef trailer for My-Sugar-Na's hamburger while I had a surprisingly tender ribeye sandwich.  At that point, she said it was time to go.  Mitten and Sloppy were allowed to stay there while we headed home.  While headed out a little after 7:30, and they had stopped selling tickets.  There were still plenty of people at the Fair - with more coming in - and it made me wonder why the Fair ends at 9:00 on the last Sunday.  Would two more hours hurt anyone?  Based on the number of people that I saw, I would tend to think that there would still be money to be made for vendors and restaurants.

All in all, it was a great Fair... for both the residents of the area as well as the folks that brought you the Fair.  Bring on 2009.

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Which brings me to the Olympics.  I could - and want to - go on and on about what is wrong with the Olympics (side note, I still have a week to rant about them, so stay tuned.)  But my biggest complaint is that the Olympics is about anything BUT the athletes. 

I know that NBC spent a kajillion dollars in television rights fees, and a few bazillion more on all of the technical folks and talent to be on-site in Bejing to bring us the sights and sounds.  And sponsors pay untold amounts to be the Official-this or Official-that.  Then you have the equipment providers that want the athletes to win, only so they can say that their equipment was used by the medal winners.  (You may be saying "But Mr. Freemarket, if NBC and Speedo think they can make a buck, what is the problem?")  The problem is that this is an athletic competition.  But that doesn't seem to matter to anybody.

For example, Michael Phelps will win all those medals.  Neither Phelps the person nor any of his dozen competitors even matter... just the "Michael Phelps brand" does;  the world records, Mark Spitz, his mom hugging Cris Collinsworth, etc.  In every one of the races there are from seven to 31 other competitors.  Not one of those other swimmers matter, basically, they are just ballast to the story.  Did, say, the Swiss swimmer have a recent injury to overcome?  Is the Japanese swimmer in Lane 7 upset that in a previous race there might have been some preferential treatment?  We'll never know, because the "Michael Phelps brand" is in the race.

Another big picture example is that in the telecasts, coverage is slanted to only one opponent.  For the Teenage Girls Gymnastics Team event, it was the USA vs. the Chinese.  Period.  Was anyone else competing?  The only way to find out is outcue to commercials, when the graphics of the current standings are shown.  Near the end, NBC showed a graphic that China was leading the USA by one point.  Then during the floor exercise, Johnny Sac's relative choked, and in the final standings the Chinese won by a couple of points.  A graphic then showed that Romania took the bronze medal a full 7-1/2 points back.  The USA teeny-boppers were falling, fouling and dropping all over the place... in terms of covering the event, it sure would have put it in perspective to see how awful those other teams were.  But nope, no objective broadcasting here.  The brand was the super-cute American girls (who weren't expected to win) against those mean, underage Chinese.

When the world stops adoring the Olympics for something its not (an athletic competition) and accepts something it is (a made-for-TV, infomercial), then maybe I can get into watching them.  Until then, I am banished to the bedroom TV waiting for the Brewers to start their west coast games.

The second Saturday of the State Fair has always been a gold mine for lawn parkers like me.  And this year was no exception.

Starting at 10:30 AM, cars started streaming into our yard.  Again, I am 3+ blocks from the southwest entrance, so if I am starting to get cars, imagine what residents on 84th between Greenfield and I-94 were doing!  Among those streamers, however, was non-revenue squatter Knobbleknees and my brother, Mr. Uncie (which actually was fair, as they resuced me from Arlington Park racetrack on Friday afternoon).

But the neighborhood was a-buzz.  Folks were excited about the Fair.  One lady that had parked her car was standing a chatting with me about the business (and by the business, I do mean the industry) when her children were literally tugging on her shorts to start walking. 

And it was non-stop.  By 12:30 PM we had 10 cars but we took a break as I had ordered Johnny V's Family Meal Deal and that's when the delivery driver arrived.  We ate lunch on the porch and watched the neighbors look at our yard and start to set-up shop.  Once we got back to work we filled our yard in no time at all.

I went inside to catch my breath and contacted My-Sugar-Na, who is unavailable to help this weekend, and said that I was coming for a visit.  Before I had a chance to get up, three cars had left and those spots had been replaced before I had a chance to react.  (Side note, I have been critical of both My-Sugar-Na's and my own children for their lack of help with this year's Fair.  But I think just the non-stop nature of Orchard St. yesterday kept them motivated.  All four of them did a bang-up job, and with one exception, they did not make me want to jam a waving flag through the ears.  This weekend has become very disjointed, and they generally have risen to the challenge).

(Another side note, the kids help allowed me to get on-line and order a week's worth of groceries from Peapod.  Their prices are higher than Pick-N-Save, but like a grocery store they have specials that bring down the prices many of the items on my list.  I bought everything except milk - which we can get from Speedway or Walgreens - and bread which is always cheap at the used bread store two blocks down.  After reviewing my list and reviewing the charges - including the delivery and fuel surcharge but less the new shopper discount, I figure it only cost me about $10 to $15 more.  But between parking cars all week and the other things going on, it is actually the best $15 that I've spent in a long time).

After returning around 5:00 PM, the kids told me that they had replaced six more cars (in three hours!)  A quick walk-through of our yard showed that all the vehicles were cars (no SUVs or minivans in the bunch).  This allowed for significant parking efficiencies - shorthand for "Geez, lets cram some more cars in here!"  At one point, I had 15 cars... two above the previous considered capacity.  About that time, Knobbleknees and Mr. Uncie came back and showed us an indian-style dress that they had purchased (far more exciting than a chamois, but not quite to the level of bed linens).  I thought it was a little expensive, bit Knobbleknees mentioned that it was 2-1/2 times more expensive at the Woodfield Mall, so she couldn't resist.  Fair nuff.

Around 7:00 PM, a couple of cars had left, so I asked my kids to hang back and fill the spaces as I took My-Sugar-Na's daughter for a visit.  When I got back a couple of hours later, my kids said that they filled up again really quick. 

For the day, a new James Family record of 30 revenue cars were parked... the third record of this Fair.  With one more glorious day to go, we have parked 110 cars.  As I mentioned last week, I think the slower economy has been a boon to the Fair, and wonderful mild and less humid air on six of those days has taken away an excuse for some people.  In my first entry last week, I mentioned that I couldn't get excited about parking cars last year.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  The neighborhood just isn't going to look the same tomorrow.  (Side note to KBK Pack Fan... one more day of car parking stories, then I can talk about stuff that more poeple than I care about... like the brewing war between Russia and Georgia).

Props to (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Stepchildren, Grizzly and Sloppy for parking 17 cars on the lawn with no parental assistance.

Due to a family situation, updates may not be to my high standards this weekend.  Bear with me and things will look better next week.

Once again on Thursday, autos were streaming into the yard between 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM.  I have concluded that it is because the neighbors are not yet home from work so our unpaid, underage staff gets a jump.  We parked nine cars (although one was my cousin, although she paid double the rate) before the signs came out in the neighborhood.  My-Sugar-Na and I stayed out until about 6:30, and decided that was long enough to head to the Fair ourselves.

Last year when we went to the Fair, My-Sugar-Na was ahead of the curve by buying her ticket from a nogoodnik in front of Walgreens (who had sold her a used ticket).  This year we had taken advantage of the Brewers Doubleheader Deal and had our tickets in hand since early-June.  We made that laborious trek quick hop, step and jump from our house to the Fair, and the fun began

Upon entering the Fair, we didn't even waste time with dinner... it was onto the cream puffs.  With sticky fingers and faces, we then started milling the grounds aimlessly.  I did get to Ruben's BBQ, and although I saw someone gnawing at Rib Tips, I decided to have the Hot Link so we could continue strolling the Fairgrounds.  It was nice and spicy, but the sweet BBQ sauce offset it nicely.  It was a well-spent fin.

Our next stop was Mo-Joes (formerly Shakey's).  Not for the pizza, but to check up on (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Stepson, Grizzly, who was in the back cutting pizza and stuff.  Did he see us?  Youbetcha he did.  His mother and I waved, and shouted "Hi (Grizzly)" over and over, while he pretended to ignore us.  His co-workers, however, got a big kick out of it.

We did the racing pigs (by the way, I liked Robinson's Racing Pigs way more than the current Hogway Speedway), and the Wisconsin Products hall, and the typical stuff, however almost all of the animal barns were empty.  It is unfortuanate that a wholesale changeover was happeneing while we wanted to visit the piggies and moo-cows.  There were some cows and horses still around, but we got tired of chasing ghosts so we moved on.

After the obligitory stop at Lefty's Milk Barn, My-Sugar-Na still has $20 burning a hole in her pocket.  I think it is goofy to buy stuff from the flea market vendors or the Expo hall... especially if you have to carry it around the rest of the day.  But (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Father told her recently that he allows him self one $20 silly impulse purchase each year, thereby sanctioning My-Sugar-Na's shopping spree.  Apparently it didn't count that - when we were in the building with dogs - that she spent not one, but TWO dollars on the Get Kissed by a Dog booth.  The doggie in the booth was cute, but My-Sugar-Na doesn't let ME kiss her that wet and sloppily.

Walking down the Grandstand shopping villiage, I beat her to the punch by buying some 400-thread count, Egyptian Cotten bed linen.  They were $21 (with tax) but I park cars for a living, I've earned that extra buck.  My-Sugar-Na, however, was besides herself.  "I don't see anyone else carrying bed sheets.  Everybody has mops, and I want a chamois, but NOBODY has a bag of sheets".  Personally, I think she is sore that I bought something before she did.

A little while later, while I am eating my Fried Snickers bar with one hand while still grasping my priceless posession in the other, she notices that the Expo hall closes at 10:00, and we only have about 25 minutes for her to spend her $20. 

I never like the Expo hall normally because it gets so crowded, and there are kids (and those damn strollers) all over the place.  But at 9:45, it is quite empty... a lovely shopping experience indeed.  Being emptier than normal, it affords My-Sugar-Na the opportinity to spot the Sham-WOW booth.  Along the way, we found a booth that sold the latest generation of Ginsu knives, and we asked the guy for a demonstration.  He said it was too close to closing time, and since Saturday is Media Day, he couldn't show us how to cut a hammer in half with a knife.  But he did give us two plastic trinkets, and then spent five of our precious minutes showing us how the orange peeler and apple corer worked.  I pull My-Sugar-Na away... we are running out of time.

After racing through the Expo hall, here's the funny part - and trust me, if I tell you in advance it was funny, imagine if you were there! - I counted FOUR booths selling the same linens that I just bought, but we never saw a mop or chamois vendor.  OMG it was a hoot!  "There's a linen guy" I would say.  Then she would swat me in the arm.  "Look, another one".  "Ooooohhhh.  Bedsheets!".  WHAP.

Finally at 10:05 (five minues past closing time... I am just glad that the bunko squad didn't get us for making an after hours purchase) my lovely bride buys a $14 item from a vendor of dog bric-a-brak.  We leave the Expo hall, make one more trip to Mo-Joes to embarass say goodbye to Grizzly and we make our way home.  Four hours of fun.  I kind of wish we had time to go again.  However, I still have spots open on my lawn, and there are still three more days (with outstanding weather forecast) for everybody else to go and have a good time.

What an odd day on Wednesday. 

(Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Stepston, Grizzly, manned the parking flag (or more appropriately, teenaged the parking flag) yesterday afternoon.  At about 4:30, he called and said that he had parked three cars within a half hour.  Strange, because there wasn't even any neighborhood traffic the previous two days.  By the time I got home from work he had parked two more, and another two within minutes after I got home.  And then it stopped.

There was then no more traffic.  Of course at this time, every neighbor who also returned home from work saw the cars in our yard and pulled out their flags and signs. Not one of them parked a car.  I guess this was just our day!

Today (Thursday), My-Sugar-Na will be going to the Fair.  I'll have a REAL State Fair blog entry either later tonight or tomorrow morning.

No traffic in the neighborhood last night.

But I am intrigued by the scamming of State Fair tickets.

A little backstory... I have spent parts of the past 15 years as what many incorrectly call a "ticket scalper".  In the mid-90s until about five years ago, my good friend (I'll call him Pete) ran a legitimate business called Wholesale Tickets & Tours with his partner Jeff.  Pete is a stand-up guy, but Jeff was always a little shady, and the business collapsed when Jeff died unexpectedly.  As Pete got out of the business, my good friend (I'll call him Scott) basically took his place in the marketplace by starting Brew City Tickets (based in West Allis, by they way).

So having worked with my buddies on the acquisition and sale of tickets (less so in the last few years), I am quite aware of how the business works.  That's why it is so disturbing to find that almost 5000 people have tried to enter the State Fair with used tickets.  For lack of a better term, illegitimate ticket people are hurting those that do this for a living... and do it the right way.

And don't think that any - ANY - venue or promoter doesn't want legitimate ticket brokers.  If Ticketmaster wanted to, they could CRUSH all ticket brokers.  But they don't want to.  In the case of Ticketmaster events, almost all brokers buy tickets from Ticketmaster (either in person or on-line) and Ticketmaster gets their "convenience charge" on every ticket.  They don't always collect that charge if attendees buy their tickets from the box office.  Also, promoters LOVE the buzz of the media when a newspaper story mentions that "Scalpers are getting $400 a ticket".

State Fair is equally complicit.  They get into bed with the Brewers, for example, for marketing tie-ins.  Thousands of other tickets are distributed, and group sales are pushed.  All ticket brokers - real ones and scammers alike - buy State Fair (and Summerfest) group tickets to make a profit.  And State Fair takes their money happily, because that money is important in advance of the event. 

And here is where State Fair folks are in their glory.  They've sold all of these tickets in advance.  They have that money.  Now a few nogoodnicks start screwing around, and now State Fair is telling patrons to only buy from their ticket window.  They are basically trying to sell the same ticket twice.  I would love to be in that kind of business.

Putting my cards on the table, State Fair can do what it wants.  It has the supply - tickets for a ticket only event - and there is demand.  And although it sucks that the legitimate brokers, like Scott, are hurt, they are also parts in the free market cog.  They made a business decision to buy bulk blocks of tickets, and some bad guys are screwing it up for them.  But the blame lies squarely with the morons who are selling already used tickets as new.  They didn't pay anything for the tickets, and they are hurting the ticket brokers.

Feel free to contact Brew City Tickets and help Scott get rid of his inventory that is now poisoned by some crooks.

On my way home from work this evening, driving east on Greenfield Ave., I turned right onto 86th St. to see what the parking situation was like.

Dead.  Very, very dead.  When I got to my block, there was not one car on one lawn... as a matter of fact, there was a parking space available on the street right across from our house.  Nobody was even outside waving cars in.  Was it the forecast of a hot, humid day?  Or was it the forecast of potentially heavy rain in the evening?

Last year (on State Fair Monday) when I got home from work, My-Sugar-Na had parked one car on the lawn.  We took that fiver to Capri on 84th & Beloit for their lasagna special.  Today, she decided we were going there without first parking a car.  Such heresy, I say.

As I first slump into the recliner to get some energy to go out, we begin to watch the local “bleeding heart or scare people needlessly entertainment program".  Those friends we can count on did a story on a family that lives on 84th St., across from the Fairgrounds, that has been parking cars since about 1755.  As a matter of fact, this family knocked down a garage wall so that cars could drive directly through to the back of the lot.  Of course, the professional journalists that they are, bring us the story as if residents parking cars in their yards first happened on Saturday.  But they work in Brown Deer... they can't be expected to know about something attended by only 800,000 people per yer.

I thought that was funny.  The slowest day of the year at the Fair, and they run a story on family parkers.

A record setting day in the mobile child delivery system industry.  22 cars parked beat the record (of 21 cars set yesterday).  However to be fair, My-Sugar-Na and I made more money yesterday, as the "Demand is more than supply" theory set the pricing.  And to prove the free market works, today "Supply was more than demand", so pricing needed to be adjusted accordingly.  However as of tonight, we are 60% of what we made last year, with a full week to go.  My theory that more folks are taking local vacations seems to be bearing out. 

However, I did park two cars with Illinois plates today.  They were both good sports, however, none agreed to pay the "The Cubs can *** my *** tax.  They also wouldn't pay the $20 exit fee to leave my driveway.  Typical Cubs fans.

So my lovely bride and I park 22 cars (with a yard capacity of 12) from 11:00 AM through 6:00 PM, and I fire up the ol' grill for dinner.  We eat, I shower, then flop exhaustedly onto the couch with the intent of flipping mindlessly through the channels, while thinking of how I can get to a craps game with my parking take (before My-Sugar-Na blows it all on bills and school supplies).  The plan was to fall asleep on the couch around 8:00 PM, wake up when the missus goes to bed, then get on-line and make this blog entry. 

I start flipping the channels at 4.  Then 5.  Then 6.  Then I drop my remote control.  There is a camera pointed at some clouds in Green Bay, and within seconds, a private plane lands at Apple Struedel airport.  Brett Favre has made it to terra firma in Wisconsin.  But why in the hell are we now watching his car drive to his house?  Why is the camera in the helicopter (why is there a helicopter?) following Favre's SUV OJ-style until he pulls into his garage.  Did Favre kill his former wife and her current lover?  Does he have a gun to his head?  Does this mean the Houston Rockets are about to win the NBA title this week?

No.  It means three things.  It means that (1) it is raining in Green Bay and they are delaying the start of the Packers Family Night exhibition (which in it self is a reason to be upset... we are missing a Simpsons rerun); (2) that some TV station in Green Bay is justifying the use of their station helicopter, and (3) Brett Favre is God... actually bigger than God, as I don't ever recall a helicopter following God around as he puts the Virgin Mary's face on a tortilla in Mexico.

On Steve's blog, I joked that lots of people are currently better QBs that Favre.  In reality, I contend that CURRENTLY, he barely cracks the Top 10.  Whatever the case may be, I got sick of this drama a month ago while I first saw it while in a hotel room in Albuquerque watching My-Sugar-Na sleep.  Favre is a legend, check.  The Packers believe that Aaron Rodgers in 2008 is a better option than Favre, check.  Favre (whether coerced or not) retired, check.  Favre didn't make it through one off-season before unretiring, check.  Favre will be reinstated into the NFL tomorrow (Monday) morning, check.  Favre either will play the 2008 season for the Packers or not-the-Packers, check.

Everything else is garbage and speculation.

Yesterday, the NFL Network announced that Favre would accept the Packers $20,000,000 bribe personal services contract.  At the same time, ESPN's Ed Werder said that Favre would play again this season.

When the NFL's own mouthpiece can't get it right, you know that nobody knows what the F-bomb is going on.  Now its time to watch Law & Order: Criminal Intent.  Too bad its not a Mike Logan one.

What a glorious day in the near-State Fair Park area!  About 78 degrees, low humidity, a nice breeze... kinda makes me wish I was at the Fair today.

The neighborhood was far busier both last night (Friday) and today (Saturday).  It is possible that the slowing economy is having a positive effect on the State Fair.  Some families may not have a lot of money in the vacation treasury, so instead of driving to Six Flags St. Louis, or the Mall of America, or even the Wisconsin Dells, they are staying local. 

All day long, cars have been driving through the neighborhood looking for parking.  I parked 21 cars today (which is outstanding, considering I can fit 12 cars on my property at a time!). 

But it isn't just about my parking fortune.  Folks that looked (and found) some free parking were walking past the house in droves.  And I was amazed with the number of cars with people crammed into them (one five passenger car that I parked had seven people in it.)

My-Sugar-Na and I had originally planned on going to the Fair on Monday, but with high temps and humidity, we may decide to go on Thursday instead.  I am curious to see the attendance this year.  It seems by the buzz around the neighborhood that there will be an uptick.

I heard one of those commercials on the radio on Friday that sure is a noodle scratcher.

The lady's part was one who was a total ditz.  She is talking to a man about a Fair that she is throwing in her backyard.  She is making cream puffs, and a neighbor is putting together a band.  She is doing this because of the price of parking and gasoline to get to the State Fair makes it too expensive to go..  The insinuation is that it is cheaper to make homemade cream puffs and hire a band to play in your yard than it is to drive to and park at the fair.  Then the male voice (or narrator) mentions that she could have taken a shuttle bus or freeway flyer to the Fair.

Huh?  Besides the fact that one would probably have to use gas to drive to the Park N Ride lots in the first place, if you have more than two people in the car, it is actually cheaper to park at the State Fair than the cost of bus fare.

I don't know which is worse... the ad agency that came up with the idea, or the person (or people) at the bus company for going ahead with it.

All the more reason that I should never turn my XM off.  That was my fault.

(Side note to the IRS guy - I parked six cars in my yard today.  Two cars more than the first Friday last year, but YTD one less than last year.  Reasonable temps and low humidity on Saturday... a winning combination!)